


The Kindest Thing (is to Never Leave You Alone)

by LadyDisdayne



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Kissing in the Rain, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Non Graphic Death of A Child
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:40:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25675984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyDisdayne/pseuds/LadyDisdayne
Summary: After a disastrous mission resulting in the death of a child, Obi-Wan confronts his short comings and reevaluates his relationship with Qui-Gon.
Relationships: Qui-Gon Jinn/Obi-Wan Kenobi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 47
Collections: Quiobi Week 2020





	The Kindest Thing (is to Never Leave You Alone)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheStageManager](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheStageManager/gifts), [Chibiobiwan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chibiobiwan/gifts).



> This can be read as a sequel to my other drabble [Truth](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25620289)  
> or be read as a standalone.  
> Prompted by [THIS](https://chibiobiwan.tumblr.com/post/140314725470/obi-wan-are-you-sure) cute art and The Stage Manager’s prompt “obi-wan making a mistake and qui-gon quietly assuring him that ‘yes I still love you’”  
> Title is from the rockrose and the thistle by the amazing devil (thank you Cat!)

Obi-Wan pressed himself further against the wall as the torrent of freezing rain continued to fall, pulling his knees up toward his chin. The large, heavy drops drummed loudly against the metal roof of the Palace, the almost melodic sound easily drowning out the sounds of his own soft sobs. 

He knew he was much too old to be hiding in embarrassment and fear from his Master. It had been almost a year since his near death Naboo and his ensuing Knighting. He had been on hundreds of diplomatic missions with Qui-Gon, and Obi-Wan knew the embarrassment and hurt he had caused Qui-Gon in front of the people of Edau was deep, a wound he doubted he would ever be able to heal. 

And now he had blood on his hands, an innocent life had been taken because he had failed to comprehend their mission. He had been too distracted, too sure of his understanding of the laws and customs of the planet. And it had cost him everything. 

Obi-Wan meditated on the missions and years he had spent with his Master, the love they had come to share. Even after their training bond had been removed, they had remained mission partners, the council agreeing to their partnership until Anakin would be ready to become Qui-Gon’s Padawan himself. 

Obi-Wan knew that there was something deeper to this new bond, the potential for something greater, but he didn’t dare dig too deep, careful not to upset the delicate balance they had created while navigating the fledgling relationship. 

Obi-Wan wept, knowing he had now ruined any potential future he might have had with Qui-Gon. They had been on Eadu for days, helping to broker peace among its divided people and negotiate land rights. It had been long, slow, and delicate work. The ruling class of the stormy planet were as tumultuous as its weather, easy to anger and quick to take offence. 

They had finally seen progress that day, had finally gotten the Barons to agree on something, when Obi-Wan had made the suggestion to seal the contract with a mutual concession, as the old laws of the planet dictated. Qui-Gon had looked at him in shock, the Barons with cruel glee. They signed the new contracts, and before Obi-Wan’s eyes, the world shattered. 

A boy, no more than twelve was brought before the barons, dressed in the finest clothes in the colors and style of both sides of the conflict. He danced, beautiful and full of life as he performed before the rulers and Jedi. Just at the pinnacle of his dance, he looked up, stretching out like he was reaching for the stars. There was a sudden pulse of light, and the boy crumbled to the ground. Obi-Wan could only watch as the light left the child’s eyes. Obi-Wan rushed forward, screaming for medical aid as the people of Eadu just looked on, seemingly celebratory.

A willing sacrifice, the Barons called it. An innocent life given freely in order to ensure lasting peace. A life Obi-Wan had taken, just as if it had been by his own hand. 

Obi-Wan sniffled, his tears blending into the cold rain that steadily poured around him, relentless in its onslaught. He thought of his previous shortcomings, his previous failures that had almost cost Qui-Gon his life. He thought back to Bandomeer and Melida/Daan, and the reasons Qui-Gon had left him behind. Obi-Wan had believed he had overcome these failings, but if this mission was any indication, he had only succeeded in fooling himself. 

A low sound caught his attention, almost unheard above the roaring rain, a cry in the night. Obi-Wan stood, searching for the source. A looming shadow was slowly making its way through the darkness, only a small light to guide them. 

The call sounded again, this time clearer and Obi-Wan was able to hear his own name in the sound. 

“Master?” He called in return, recognizing Qui-Gon’s shape and voice.

“Obi-Wan!” Qui-Gon cried again, breaking into a run to Obi-Wan.

“Obi-Wan!” Qui-Gon enveloped Obi-Wan in his arms, “What are you doing out here? I have been looking everywhere for you.”

Obi-Wan didn’t know how to respond, his throat still raw from his tears, his heart shattering, knowing that Qui-Gon had been looking for him to put him in his place, to send him away from his side. Just as it should be. 

He hiccuped out another sob, “I, I just, I didn't think you would want _me_ in our room.” The words came rushed, garbled and broken. 

Qui-Gon pulled back, looking down at Obi-Wan in concern and disbelief, “Wait just a moment. Slow down, and talk to me.. ”

“I _killed_ him Qui-Gon, I took the boy’s life in my arrogance and hubris. I— ” Qui-Gon pressed a gentle kiss to the corner of Obi-Wan’s mouth, stopping his ramblings. 

“Now, that's enough of that. There is no way you could have known how they would define a concession, the lengths they would go to justify the murder of an innocent life. You did nothing wrong, my love. ”

“But Master, I...I’ve ruined _everything_. How could you still love me after—” Obi-Wan shook, unable to even finish the thought. 

Qui-Gon held him closer, “Of course I still love you! Obi-Wan, I— ” The Master sighed, deep and regretful. “I am sorry I have ever let you think differently, that I’ve allowed you to have any doubt of my feelings for you.”

Strong arms encased Obi-Wan further, pulling him into Qui-Gon’s warm embrace. Obi-Wan felt the knot that had formed in his stomach untangle, his body going almost lax in Qui-Gon’s arms. 

“Master, I am sorry for ever doubting you.” Obi-Wan whispered.

“Obi-Wan, there’s,” Qui-Gon paused, pulling them apart just enough to look Obi-Wan in the eyes, “There is something I have been wanting to ask you, that I now realize has been foolish of me to wait. About our bond.”

“What about our bond?” Obi-Wan asked as his heart dropped again, unsure of what would cause Qui-Gon such concern.

“Obi-Wan, I am sure that you have felt this as well, the potential our bond holds, the depth it could hold.”

Obi-Wan nodded, allowing Qui-Gon to continue. “What I am trying to ask is, Obi-Wan, would you bond with me?” Worry creased his handsome face, “Would you be my partner, both in life and in the Force?”

All of Obi-Wan’s lingering doubts fled in the brightness of Qui-Gon and his love that filtered through the Force, love that filled Obi-Wan’s heart.

“Yes.” Obi-Wan whispered, overwhelmed with joy of his own. 

Qui-Gon grinned, his relief and happiness evident as he picked Obi-Wan up into his arms, so that Obi-Wan had to look down into his future bondmate’s eyes. Obi-Wan wrapped his legs around Qui-Gon’s large hips to steady himself against Qui-Gon’s firm body. 

“Obi-Wan, are you sure?” 

“Yes,” Obi-Wan answered simply, wholeheartedly. He closed the distance between them, the rain no longer cold.

  



End file.
